So, Karl needed some items for a YM activity. He asked if I could go get them today. I thought sure, I can do that, I've been meaning to pick up some items at Walmart anyway. So I loaded the 3 crazy boys into the van and off we went.
I needed to drop some overdue books off at the library, so that was our first stop. I should have known it was going to be a bad trip when on the way back a not so pleasant odor started wafting up form the back. When we got to Walmart I change a wiggly, non cooperative Kayson, which left my hands not so very clean.
After cleaning up that mess, we proceed inside. Last time I went to Walmert, I put Chase in the baby bjorn. That left a trail of spit up all over Walmart, so this time I decided to just take him in the car seat. I put all the trust I could find in Kayson, and asked him to walk next to me while we were in the store. We begin our shopping.
Have you met Kayson? If you have, you know he doesn't walk anywhere. He runs. REALLY fast. After chasing him down 18 times in as many seconds, I place the boy in the cart and tell him to sit down. I begin stacking items around the lad and we continue on.
I feel like NOW we're doing pretty good. I've made it through the food items on my list, and now we are heading. To the baby department to pick up some of the items I needed. As I am picking them up, I slip as I walk through something slimy. I look down, and some crazy shopper has dropped some eggs. I think to myself, why don't people tell the employees when things spill?
(Now, before I go on, I needed to make some excuses for myself. Riser and Kayson have been sick and haven't been sleeping well. Add that to a 4 month old who ha decided he'd better check in 3 or 4 times a night, it means that I haven't had a very good night's sleep in quite a while. If I had, I surely would have been a little quicker on the uptake... right?)
Anyway, I warn Riser about the mess and tell him not to step in it and we continue... a few steps later it happens again... I think sheesh people really, how could you have made such a mess (I know, seriously, I still hadn't figured out what was going on... I'm still feeling a little embarrassed about that) I warn Riser again and move on. Finally, when I slip in the mess in a 3RD area, the pieces click... Eggs... I bought eggs... they're in the cart with Kayson... I look at Kayson, now covered in eggs and about die. The boy has been squishing them and tossing them out the bottom. FABULOUS. Luckily, an employee walks by, I alert him to my mess which pretty well covers the entire baby department. He takes my broken eggs for me and calls for clean up.
We continue on. we go back for more eggs, I put them up by Chase. I'm soooo on the ball. I round a corner, and slip AGAIN. And this time somehow manage to run over my own foot. I think to myself, the eggs are up here I can see them!! I say "Kayson is that us again? What did you spill?" I look in to see the bottle of kid's shampoo open and pointing down through the cart I look behind us and see the long line of shampoo I've somehow managed to avoid up until now. I close the bottle, pull the boy out of the cart, and make my way as quickly as I can to front of the store. Kayson begins wailing because he wants to walk. Chase begins wailing because he is scared of Kayson's wailing. I walk faster. AS we're moving right along, Riser trips over something... His foot or his flip flop perhaps, and falls on the floor. He begins wailing too. I pick him up try to comfort him the best I can one handed and then realize that it's just not going to work, so I start walking again... 3 children bawling as we go. We reach the checkouts, and I use a 2o item or less self check out lane even though I have well over 20 items. It was the only check out stand with no line. It remained the only stand with no line the entire time I checked out... can't think why... As I check out, Kayson picks up gum and candy and attempts to swipe them. I put them back and the crying continues.
I look down at my crying Riser and see that he now has boogers dripping off of his chin. I look at Kayson with his face covered with boogers and his clothes covered in eggs and shampoo. I think to myself, I have become that mother who takes her boogery filthy children out shopping at Walmart. All these years I thought they had come into the store looking that way. I couldn't have been more wrong.
After what seemed like hours, we were checked out and ready to go home. I loaded the children in the car. Took out the cookies i had meant to leave out for the YM. And ate my way home. i felt that I had earned them.
The boys are now where they need to be. In their beds taking naps. Now that I have vented, I feel much better, and now plan to take a little nap of my own.
2 years ago
